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[fatherlesskind]

So this is Alistair speaking, you know, in case you somehow don't recognise the sound of my voice even though you're trying to talk to me. I'm not here or you'd be talking to me and not hearing this. You can leave me a message or share any juicy gossip or embarrassing secrets on this thing and I'll answer you or tell everyone I know when I find it. Maybe. Or maybe I won't because I don't want to talk to you and I'm really sitting here listening to you and laughing and just pretending not to be here, you'll never know! You should definitely share those embarrassing secrets though. I wouldn't tell everyone - just a few people and- *BEEP*

Comments

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[fatherlesskind]

If I tell you I'm planning to ambush you it's not a very good ambush, is it?

[Wait, did he just give the game away? Oh well. 'Expect an ambush' only helps if he knows where and when it might happen. It's not like Flash could check all of Wonderland fast enough to catch him out or something.]

You don't need to do anything like that. I'm great. Completely trustworthy. If you ask anyone they'll say 'oh Alistair? Everyone loves Alistair. Who couldn't? He's just so adorable! And witty. Charming and handsome too.' So you know you can trust me already, see?

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[accelerate]

do you have all that on a business card jw?

but now i'm starting to wonder if this is a trick. are you telling me you're planning to ambush me but you won't ambush me at all? that sounds like something someone adorable, witty, handsome, and charming would say.

[ damn, alistair, your ambush game is strong, bro. ]

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[fatherlesskind]

Yes?

[Give him a minute. He has to work that out in his head. And also try to figure out what a business card is.]

Yes. Yes, that's exactly what I meant. Maybe. Or maybe I'm saying I will ambush you so you think I won't so I actually will. Clever, right?

[Actually now he's just confused himself even more. This is why no one gets him to handle the sneaky, tricking people with words stuff. He's better at just talking at them till they give in. Or try to hit him.]

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[accelerate]

[ don't worry, barry's confused as well, and he's the one who goes around messing up timelines. but what he gleans from this is simple: alistair has a great sense of humour, and he isn't a danger to captain hook, the ultimate cosplayer. ]

damn. you're really good at this, alistair.

i'll be sure to let everyone know not to mess with you. i'll be sure to sleep with one eye open tonight!