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So this is Alistair speaking, you know, in case you somehow don't recognise the sound of my voice even though you're trying to talk to me. I'm not here or you'd be talking to me and not hearing this. You can leave me a message or share any juicy gossip or embarrassing secrets on this thing and I'll answer you or tell everyone I know when I find it. Maybe. Or maybe I won't because I don't want to talk to you and I'm really sitting here listening to you and laughing and just pretending not to be here, you'll never know! You should definitely share those embarrassing secrets though. I wouldn't tell everyone - just a few people and- *BEEP*

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[ She isn't very good with the communicators, but this is important enough to warrant an attempt. Important enough to bypass the ever-uncomfortable interactions that the pair of them still seem to have. ]

Alistair, this is Rob- Warden Cousland. [ Maker, that's annoying to have to say. ] I've felt another Grey Warden in Wonderland, but I've yet to see them. Do you know who it is?

[It takes him far too long to realise he has a message at all and even longer to work out how to listen to it. But, eventually, he manages both. By this point he's run into the other Warden in question and has an answer beyond a simple 'no' to give her. Unfortunately - if that was all he had it would at least mean he could keep this short.

He holds off on replying as long as he can, still uncertain how he feels about the new Warden Cousland until his sense of duty finally prompts Alistair to call back.]

Warden, it's me. Which you must already know. [Great start there, just brilliant.] You were asking about the new Grey Warden who arrived. [There's a certain stiffness to his tone as he if he's a soldier reporting in to his commander. Which isn't far off the truth but it's rare to get such formality from him. His Templar commanders would be amazed at the feat.] I met him earlier. He's a mage from Ferelden. I don't know him personally but... He seems alright to me.

[That's about all he's got so far, for what it's worth.]

[ A mage from Ferelden? That has her frowning, but it's more in curiosity than anything. ]

But, he wasn't at Ostagar, then? Or... does he remember the battle?

[ He could have been summoned to Wonderland just before the fight, in which case things could get even more awkward than they already are. ]

Were you introduced?

[ It'd be nice to have a name if she herself meets the other Warden. It's reassuring to hear the all-clear from Alistair, however superficial the report may be. It's still Alistair, after all, and she trusts his judgment. ]

No, he wasn't at Ostagar. He said he joined after the Blight.... When I'm king and there's a new Warden-Commander.

[Which was still something he was trying not to think about, the sense of inevitability about it now. Easier to think about how here's another person who's certain the Blight will be stopped. That at least is a cheerful thought.]

His name is Anders. Do you recognise it?

[He's not expecting her to unless one of the others from Thedas have mentioned this Warden to her. Neither of them have seen the end of the Blight and beyond the Warden's own identity it seems they know all the same people.]

[ Though he can't see it, she frowns at what he says at first, and pushes past it for the moment to reply to the latter bit. ]

Anders... no, I've never met an Anders. I've also come just before the Landsmeet, remember, so I don't know anything past the Blight, either.

[ The others from Thedas may have said differently, though. Speaking of: ]

... If the Landsmeet hasn't happened yet, then nothing's been decided. [ Her voice is careful, even, not wanting to cross any lines but with the tone of someone doing what they feel is right. ] No matter what the others say has happened, the only person who can decide whether you'll be king or not is you. All right? To think it's some inevitable thing is... wrong.

[ There's a pause, and she remembers herself a little, adding, meekly: ]

I hope that wasn't too forward, but I do think it's important.

I...

[Honestly he doesn't know what to say. It's more than a little unexpected for her to say such a thing and it catches him completely off-guard.

He's spent such a long time having his decisions made for him that he's just come to accept it. Being expressly told that he has a choice then is... odd. But as uncertain as Alistair is about the Warden he still appreciates that she feels the need to say it. She doesn't have to and doesn't have much reason to show him such concern. It's strange but not in a bad way, even if part of him wonders if it's not just that he looks like somebody she actually cares about but isn't him.

In the end though, whatever happens to him won't affect her one bit. She didn't have to say anything at all and that she did matters, whatever the motivation.]

No, it wasn't too forward. I don't think so. Ah... Thanks. I- I'll remember that.

[He clears his throat awkwardly and quickly asks-] So. Another Warden. Did you want me to introduce you?

[ Though it isn't entirely true that what happens to him doesn't affect her, her speaking out for him is done just for his benefit. He needs to know, or at least to be reminded, as so often in their journey thus far he'd been told that he had to do one thing or the other. She's happy to tell him otherwise and smiles politely at his response. ]

Good. [ Back to business. ] Oh, you don't have to do that. It isn't a very big space, here; I'm sure that I'll come across him sooner or later. But, thank you.

[ Really, she'd just wanted to know if it was someone that either of them had heard of, but since it isn't... well, she doesn't think it'll be long before this Anders crosses her path. ]

Is there anything else about him that I should know? Did he say anything about the new Warden-Commander?

No, I don't think he said anything about that. He mentioned there was...is. Will be. [This is just getting ridiculous.] A new Warden-Commander, but not who it... is as far as he's concerned.

[And Alistair had been too distracted by the king bit to ask about it.]

Why? Has anyone told you about who the next Warden-Commander will be? Is it Riordan?

[He seems the obvious choice for the position as the senior Warden and it's not like there are a lot of other candidates. Particularly if Alistair himself does take the throne.]

I don't know, to be honest.

[ Of course there would have to be one after Duncan's death, and if they hadn't said that Alistair was to be king, she would have expected him to be in line for the position after Riordan. ]

I think that they must not have known... [ But, even as she says it, she isn't sure if the Inquisitor or the others had mentioned it or not. ] I can ask Brennan and see if he remembers.

Right, it's probably not important for him. Unless the Inquisition suddenly needed the Wardens support.

[Even with demons apparently on the loose he's not sure that would happen. The Wardens would fight to protect people but beyond providing extra soldiers there was little they'd be able to do that a force of Templars couldn't.]

Let me know what he says? If you get to ask him first.

[It would be good to know who might become the new Warden-Commander in advance. Even if it's just so he has some time to stop thinking of them as 'Duncan's replacement'.]

They... did mention the Wardens, I think. But I never did hear all of the details.

[ Something about the fortress, Adamant, and... she sensed there was a lot more to tell, and most of it not very good. It makes her uneasy, thinking of the possibilities, but "she" hadn't been said to be there, anyway, searching for a cure to the taint in the Deep Roads. ]

I- Oh, yes, I will. And I'll find out what the order has done to get involved with the future-Inquisition. I think we ought to know, even if it's only a possibility in our own futures.

Some warning for once would be nice.... even if it might not affect me. [Or affect him in different ways if he's no longer a Warden at the time.] Or you. Or our new Warden even.

[As she said, the things Brennan will know about might not happen to either of them. But knowing wouldn't hurt just in case they did. Where demons are concerned it's always better to be prepared.]

I'll tell you too if I hear anything. You both now.

[She's better acquainted with the Inquisitor than he is so it's unlikely he'll get anything she won't and once she's met Anders she'll presumably pass information directly to them both. But just in case.]

Edited 2016-01-17 09:57 (UTC)

It is still our future, even if they don't know exactly how we fit into it. [ Or, even if they do know that piece, as it were. ] You really should speak with Brennan, too; he has a very good story about a dragon, at the very least. Though, I'm not sure how it compares with our experience looking for the Urn.

[ Her lip twitches up at a smile, though he can't see it. Do you remember the High Dragon, Alistair? Wasn't that fun?? ]

Of course. Be well, Alistair.

Nothing can compare to that mess.

[He'd really rather not remember that, thanks. The whole business with finding the Urn had been not fun even before someone decided it was a good idea to slay a dragon.]

...You too, Warden.

[And with that he'll end the call and go find something else to do while he stews over the conversation.]

[ On the 10th, once the mansion has gone back to normal following their trip to Gravity Falls, a carefully-wrapped package is left in front of his door. On top of the bundle is a hand-written note: ]

"Alistair the Handsomest, Wittiest and Most Charming of All," Alistair, I realized too late that though we both had things to apologize for, you were the only one thoughtful enough to bring a peace offering. I picked up a few things on our last trip and, in an effort to keep you from thinking me impolite, I found something I thought you would like. If I'm terribly wrong, I think it would make an excellent door-stopper. Yours, Robyn

[ Inside is a runic tablet, bundled carefully inside the cloth. Does he still like runes, she wonders? Or will he just think she's lost her mind?

Ah, well. It's not stone griffon, but Stan's shop had been fresh out of those... ]

_{[Among Anders' top ten rules, learning to get by in life without a crutch is near the top. Alone in his struggles, over time he'd gotten used to handling most things alone. A sign of resourcefulness, he'd thought. But now...

Now being left alone with his thoughts feels less like a strength and more like a flashback to his solitary confinement days. How many hours had he sat in silence while his thoughts chased themselves in endless circles back then? He'd always been afraid to do the math. He'd had Mr. Wiggums to break up the monotony, but now he doesn't even that much, and no amount of fine china or wish fulfillment from the closets can banish Cullen and Fenris' voices from his head.

I'm surprised to find you draw the line at killing people in their sleep.

You murdered hundreds of innocent people, started a war that killed more of your mages than the Circles ever did, and were slain by Hawke for it.

Had just the one confronted him, perhaps Anders could have written either off as being soft between the ears, or willing to spew any manner of hate to get under a mage's skin. But both saying nearly the exact same thing? It's more than mere coincidence, and idiotically Anders finds himself missing having a cat to hold and talk his worries out to. There'd been a comfort in that. A comfort Wonderland can't provide for all its riches.

He gets scared, he gets drunk, and then a day later after he's sobered up, he gets desperate.]}

It's Anders. Do you have time for a Wardenly heart-to-heart, by chance?

_{[He would have considered going to the Commander if the Commander had been an option, but he's not, none of the usual suspects are. Alistair is the closest thing to a friend he has here, which only punctuates just how alone he is, wrecked like a lost ship on the shores of some foreign land.

A part of him hopes Alistair misses the text message so that by the time he sees it, Anders will have found a way to bury his concerns and pass it off as nothing. Plausible deniability for a moment of weakness.]}

[Alistair has gotten into the habit of looking at his magic box a couple of times a day to see if there's anything interesting being talked about on there, or anyone new showing up, so he spots the note fairly quickly. When he does - and when he realises it's a personal missive, not one shared with everyone like most messages are - he spends a minute studying it before even thinking about replying.

He's not sure what a 'Wardenly heart-to-heart' will involve, although his first instinct is to guess that he's being set-up. Ask to talk, lure him somewhere and play a prank. It's something he'd do and it's not hard to picture Anders being willing to do the same from what he knows of the man. Payback for the snowball fight maybe. Or just boredom.

He's so not getting fooled by it. But he can't let Anders know he's onto him. He has to figure out a way to turn this back around. See what the other man is going to try and trick him into and be one step ahead. He can manage that. Maybe.

He's grinning to himself as he sends a reply, eager to see where this is going. It will be fun even if he loses, for all that he's going to try not to.]

Anders. I always have time for my second favouritest mage ever. What do you need? Alistair.

[And hopefully whatever is in store won't involve too much more writing with the magic boxes. Actually writing things out on them takes a lot longer than just talking to them. Or each other.]

_{[Ah, he answered. There's still time to back out, Anders reminds himself, but the self-assurance falls flat just like the joke that comes to mind in response.]}

Only the second? I'm hurt.

_{[To both of their surprise, this is shaping up to be a sober discussion. A prank or light banter over a beer are much better reasons to track Alistair down, in Anders' opinion; personal problems feel, as ever, like he's saddling an already overburdened mount with an extra load. But if someone's likely to understand, it's someone going through the same thing.]}

Can I come over? I have something I'd like to talk about.

_{[In person is much more preferable to over the phones, he agrees.]}

You have to mend my clothes for me if you want to be the favourite.

[Wynne has left some big shoes to fill.]

Over as in to my room? Sure. I'm not doing anything.

[So... maybe Anders does just want to talk? If he wants to come to Alistair's room that seems less likely to be a prank, though it's still possible. Not that he'll complain if it's not. Talking is good. He's good at talking. An expert even.]

In that case, I'm happy with second place. Thank you, though. I'm only next door but the Circle did teach us SOME manners. Showing up unannounced could be considered rude.

_{[And for reasons he won't admit, he'd been hesitant to speak up. No matter how many times he'd gone over it in his head, there's no easy way to ask advice on what to do when others accuse you of being a warmongering murderer in the future.

Not a minute later, Anders is at Alistair's door, knocking to announce his presence. Although he puts on a smile, it doesn't come as easily as usual.]}

[The knock is followed by a clatter and mumbled curse before the door is thrown open. Alistair grins brightly when he sees Anders but it dims a little as he gets a good look at the man.]

Hi. Welcome to my side of the hall.

[He moves back into the room, expecting Anders to follow, and makes his way over to where a whetstone, a tin of polish and some rags sit by his longsword. Dropping down to sit on the floor he waves at the bed in invitation.]

Have a seat.

[Hopefully Anders doesn't mind being forced to sit there. There's not a lot of other options besides the floor, the room sparsely furnished and plain. There's the bed, an armour stand, the closet and a side table and little else to fill the small space. Unless Anders feels like sitting on the pile of clothes and other junk shoved into the corner.]

Next time you can just knock if you want. My education was pretty light on manners. I won't get too horrified if you forget to use the right fork at dinner or just show up.

[It's still considerably better than the Warden he knows back in Ferelden and his habit of just barging into places and leaving the door wide open.]

So what are we talking about?

Edited 2016-03-11 08:37 (UTC)

Catch you at a bad time?

_{[One corner of his smile dimples at the corner when Alistair answers the door. Accepting the invitation inside, Anders looks around the room, curiously taking in the homey, unembellished ambiance that--surprisingly--isn't all that far removed from his own modest quarters.]}

I have to admit, I expected more... bells and whistles. _{[But aside from that, Anders seems fresh out of teasing comments about Alistair's taste in interior design. He sits on the bed.]} I'll keep that in mind for next time.

_{[And now that he's exhausted the small talk, it's time to get to the point. Moment of truth. He'd been thinking about what he to say if he broached the subject with the other Wardens in Wonderland, how to frame his words in the least self-incriminating way. Now that he's actually here, the conversations he'd staged with himself in his head seem stupid.

He thinks about resting his hands beside him on the bed covers, then changes his mind and moves them to his lap, curling the fingers of one hand around the other. It's not like him to fear the unknown like this, but it's usually not characteristic of the unknown to show up on his doorstep and threaten him with terrible things that have yet to happen.]}

Well, there's no simple way to bring it up. I wanted to ask you now that I've been here awhile now and have had time to gain some perspective... What do you think about this idea of other Thedases out there? _{[Anders can hear himself circling around the real reason for this meeting, and he shakes his head.]} It's just that... I wasn't seeing the whole picture when we first met and you suggested there could be two different versions of you and two different Heroes of Ferelden. Do you believe that's true? That we're being brought in from different times, after different choices?

Nah. It's fine.

[Alistair ignores the commentary on his tastes, instead watching with a frown as Anders fidgets. A flicker of concern makes itself known as he waits quietly to hear what the other man has to say. When Anders does share what's on his mind it's unexpected, inasmuch as Alistair was expecting anything at all. Tilting his head he studies his fellow Warden thoughtfully, not sure why this is coming up now.

After a moment to gather his thoughts he answers slowly-] I believe it, sure. Or I think I do. It's crazy but I can't come up with an explanation that's not. [He gestures vaguely as he speaks, as if he can somehow capture just how confusing it all is.] The Warden was there for Ostagar and other things that happened to us during the Blight - the Warden Cousland here. We've spoken about some of it. But she's not the Warden Cousland I remember. So either there's more than one Ferelden out there - which is crazy - or one of us has had their memories changed and doesn't know it - which is also crazy.

[Sighing he picks up the blade beside him and begins polishing it with one of the rags. It's helpful to have his hands occupied while he talks, thinking aloud about things he normally tries not to think about at all.]

Maybe it makes more sense for our memories to have been changed - that's a lot smaller than a whole other Ferelden. But there's you and all the others too, who say they're from the future.... Everyone's memories could have been changed to make us think there's lots of different versions of home and we're from different times when there's really only one place and one time. But if I start thinking like I'm going to be questioning everything I know or if I'm even who I think I am and then I'd just go crazy myself.

[He glances up at Anders with an apologetic smile and shrugs helplessly.] I know that can't be the answer you want. But I don't have any proof that any of this here is even real, let alone that other Fereldens exist...

I don't think I'm the best person to ask about this kind of thing.

[There might be someone among them smart enough to put it all together but it's not him.]

_{[Anders understands wanting to push things you have no control over to the dusty, moth-eaten back corners of your mind and forget about them--it's his life wrapped up in a single, miserable bow. He's dredging difficult thoughts up on purpose, which he feels some distant regret over, but he does want to hear Alistair's take on them. His thoughts have followed the same sort of channels--and like Alistair, every road leads in a confused circle, back to the beginning to contemplate a universe that keeps ever expanding. It's a drag.

It's such a drag, in fact, that it's hard not to smile at the sheer magnitude of ridiculousness they're debating. His lips twitch.]}

Actually, I think you're just the person to ask.

_{[His smile kicks higher, coming dangerously close to warm appreciation. All this thinking about life and liberty has made him go soft, maybe. Softer.]}

In some ways, it'd be easier to think we're trapped in a delusion and this is some demon's idea of a fun afternoon. I don't even know if there'd be a way to prove what's true and what's not without consulting a Revered Mother or going on a soul-searching pilgrimage.

_{[He blows out a breath.]}

Let's say it's not a delusion and everything is real--the places we remember, the things that have happened. Could it be then that there other versions of us? Of all of us? Not identical, but... products of different circumstances? Like the Hero of Ferelden being born a man or a woman depending on nature's coin toss? Or another version of you that went right instead of left? Or another me who... _{[Anders falters awkwardly, searching for a better description than "became a joyless villain."]} ... did some things the me who's sitting here hasn't done, I guess. Does that make sense? Listen to me, I sound like a philosopher reading off a cosmology text.

[Alistair grins back almost shyly and ducks his head, returning his attention to his blade. He's still not sure why he's the better choice, given Cousland has personal experience with this kind of weirdness but he certainly doesn't mind talking it over. Another perspective will be good for him too. So long as Anders isn't looking for an expert opinion on the matter, they can speculate wildly all he likes. And keep things from getting too weighed down.]

From my experience, if you asked a Revered Mother for help with an existential problem she'd be more likely to give you chores than advice. Something about how you can't doubt when your hands are raw from scrubbing floors.

[So one way or another they're on their own with this one.]

I think if we're not all drooling lunatics then there must be other 'us's - like you said, there's the Couslands who are definitely different people. And according to at least one person there's a me who stayed a Warden after the Blight. [He's still thinking about that one and what it might mean for him personally but for now it makes for a useful example.] So there could be a you who never joined the order or... I don't know, became Warden-Commander of Ferelden. It makes as much sense as anything else does.

[Pausing in his work for a moment he turns his gaze back to Anders.] Just because someone else says we might do something, or have done something, doesn't mean it's definitely going to happen. Has happened. To every you. [The statement is followed by a snort of amusement.] That's what I've been told and I think I'm finally starting to believe it.

[It's taken a while but he's getting there.]

Maybe if we just think of it as having a whole bunch of identical twins. We still get to make our own choices, we all just look the same. Except for the ones who don't.

[Probably not the most useful way to put it, that. What can he say? He is definitely not a philosopher.]

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